Tony's Bad Gread----draft 1
Today when I went home. I saw my brother and father were in the living room.
The man who sat on the chair is my father .
And the boy that stood by my father is my older brother Tony.
I heard my father shouted with Tony . He said that Tony what a bad grade you get.
He stands in that ashamedly by a face.
Because of hes bad grade, my father was very angry,Tony promised he will not only work hard but also get high grade next time.
My father does not look so angery. Finally he ate dinner with whole family.
The man who sat on the chair is my father .
And the boy that stood by my father is my older brother Tony.
I heard my father shouted with Tony . He said that Tony what a bad grade you get.
He stands in that ashamedly by a face.
Because of hes bad grade, my father was very angry,Tony promised he will not only work hard but also get high grade next time.
My father does not look so angery. Finally he ate dinner with whole family.
posted by 娜娜 at 5:02 AM
5 Comments:
"Because of hes bad grade"
"hes" should change to "his".
"My father does not look so angery." Should change to "My father did not look so angry."
The title "Gread" should change into "Grade".
"Tony what a bad grade you get." should change into " Tony, what a bad grade you get."
The same thing also happened in my life. And the things I can do is just study harder and harder.
"He said that Tony what a bad grade you get.".You should change to "...Tony, what a bad grade you got."
"He stands in that ashamedly by a face".You should change to "He stood....".
你的時態必須一致。
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